Battles & Blessings
by Lee Kirkby
Exactly a year ago, God told us we were moving to Newcastle. Yet just fourteen months ago, we weren’t - we were firmly sticking in York. The past year has been an absolute whirlwind. I’m not entirely sure if it’s passed yet, and I’ve not had my feet on the ground long enough to survey what the ‘damage’ is.
In the Bible, Noah heard from God that he and his family were to be saved from the flood. Yet, we often forget the endless days he spent sailing on deep, rough floodwater before the ark finally settles on dry land. These last twelve months have had our family and I sailing through life in tears many a time, though there have been lots of happy ones too. It’s certainly been an uncomfortable ride. Probably the biggest challenge of our lives so far. Adrenaline of every possible emotion has passed through our bodies.
We’ve moved to Newcastle, but are we safely on dry land yet? It sometimes feels like we have a lot of floodwater around us still!
What must it have felt like for Noah in those 150 days when he and his family floated on the ark? What must his wife and sons have nagged him about?! Genesis doesn’t tell us much about what Noah was thinking, but I’ve no doubt he went through similar emotions to what we do when we go through dark times. We have heard the voice of God, and we must hold onto that whilst we are riding the storm.
Holding firm to the voice of God helps us to keep our identity rooted in Christ when all the worldly factors around us are changing.
Noah did what God asked
When God asked Noah to go into the ark, he did. He knew everything was going to be flooded around him but he was obedient. He was maybe no shipbuilder before the ark - but he certainly was when it was finished.
One thing God has been teaching me over this past year is that we are not defined by our work. On the 1st September, I was still Head of Youth and Children’s Work at The Belfrey - head of a department, leading ten incredible people, with abundant resources available to enable a thriving youth ministry and endless opportunities to exercise my vision and gifts. This ‘title’ was one that had shaped my days for seven years. Yet just 24 hours later, that was not who I was anymore. Instead, I started as the Resourcing Minister at St Thomas’ Newcastle. A brand new church plant with no established ministry and limited resources available. My job hadn’t even existed before.
For months, and even now, I am discovering that I, Lee, am not defined by my work. My job title is not an extension of my name. First and foremost we are called to ‘be’ in Christ. Who am I in Him? Only out of security in this identity as a child of God am I able to serve in a job. Moving to Newcastle had not only presented me with a new role, but it reminded me of my first responsibility - to be a disciple of Jesus.
Taking up a job that is an associate minister to the leader has all the potential to be difficult, particularly when the leader is someone you’ve grown up with and been best friends with for 22 years. I’m learning a lot. We may work together but our friendship comes first. We eat together, spend our days off together and still go away together. But I have had days when I’ve thought - this is ridiculous. My best friend is my boss. I’ve discovered how important it is to be confident in your own calling. A question that occasionally crops up in my mind is ‘am I wasted being an associate?’ Another one which is fairly predictable is ‘what’s it like having your best friend as a boss?’
What I’ve learnt is that I must own my own calling and not live for someone else’s.
There is no point in striving to live someone else’s calling or else you miss out on living your own.
We have just got to get on with what God has asked of us.
Noah’s world changed
When God charged Noah with preparing the ark before the floodwaters came, he instructed him to make sure he took food of every kind. Life onboard during the flood was evidently going to be interesting - but God made sure Noah and his family had everything they needed. It’s not as if they could pop out of the ark and grow some new vegetables to eat or cut down a tree for some wood to burn once the waters had hit.
I’ve been struck by how much moving from a well-resourced church to a church with little has been challenging. In my previous role, I started with a small cupboard of props and sports gear and left with a youth & children’s work centre, a mobile youth van and enough gear to put on a small festival. Having the security of these resources stripped away has at times actually made me question whether I can do the new job God has called me to. I have felt at times - ‘oh, it really is just me’. Equally though, I’ve found it quite refreshing to go back to bare basics, knowing that God has given me all that I need and what I don’t have, he will provide as he did back then. Things don’t necessitate the ability to be a good follower of Jesus.
Some people warned us not to move. Others said we were just tempted to go because the ‘grass looked greener on the other side’. The reality is, we loved the grass in our own back garden in York so much we would have taken it with us if we could have. When God calls you, not everyone understands. But obedience is what matters. We have friends who haven’t acknowledged us leaving yet or even said goodbye to us. But that’s OK. There’s a lot to process because God’s calling is always corporate and never just individual - how can it be, when we are a church family? I’ve learnt how sending well and going well are both intricately linked and how important it is to get both things right.
Leaving somewhere that is so emotionally charged with memories and relationships is never easy. Leaving our friends and family in Yorkshire has at times felt close to actual bereavement. The guilt of leaving them. Denying our parents time with their grandchildren. Some of our friends back home feeling abandoned. We’ve had to navigate the grief of leaving friends behind - both our feelings of abandonment and them feeling abandoned in turn. It has been a sandwich of grief for all of us. To be truthful, even though I am here with my family and colleagues who are close friends - I have experienced loneliness this past year, and it still hits me. A change in geography really does test the integrity and strength of any relationship.
Noah didn’t go it alone
God is kind. He has created each one of us to be in a relationship. God himself is in relationship after all - Father, Son & Holy Spirit. God spared Noah and his whole family. He knew that they would need each other in the stormy days ahead but also in re-populating when the drier days came.
Partnership was a key theme in my own discernment process. We had a fair few people around us discouraging us from moving just because our best friends Ben and Ellie were there. Phrases like “its time to do your own thing” and “spread your wings to find your own path” were spoken over us. It seemed like we should almost be ashamed to choose a path that kept us in partnership with close friends. To be honest, at times, we said these things too! We indignantly thought, we will not go just because they are there. But the gracious spirit of the Lord spoke to us clearly about this. Ben and Ellie never once suggested that we come to Newcastle, in fact even when we disclosed that we thought the Lord was speaking to us about it they didn’t give much away. Even to the extent that we thought they didn’t want us to come! They allowed us the space to listen to the Lord and discern that Newcastle really was the right thing for us. Some people said we looked more shocked than anyone else when we announced our leaving - a mark perhaps of God’s doing and not our own?
We’ve discovered a lot about friendship through church planting so far. We’ve learnt not to block the blessing of a good friendship. It is a gift from the Lord that shouldn’t be denied. In the Bible, friendships were held in high esteem. Why should friendships be kept separate from work?
A sign
It has been a year of battles and blessings, to say the least. But we are overwhelmed by the goodness of God in it all. We’ve managed to buy our first home - we never expected to! Amara is absolutely loving school and has ‘millions of friends’. Phoebe is discovering the drums at church and looking forward to starting nursery. Our marriage has probably stood the first test of life’s rough waters. We are loving building a new family routine in Newcastle.
I am so glad we were intentional about asking God what His will was for us. Both the battles and the blessings give us plentiful opportunities to praise God and see Him working in our lives, even when the occasional day is dark.
Before we moved, a huge rainbow sat proudly above our York home. We felt God was saying ‘I’ve got this’. When we visited the house we now live in, the previous owner gifted the girls a Noah’s Ark book with a huge rainbow on the front cover. We just knew ‘God was in this’. Every so often, we see a rainbow outside our new home. God’s promises do stand firm.
God calls us to do His work - I am so grateful He called us to do that alongside friends. As C.S. Lewis said:
“Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly, to me, it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends’”.
I’m glad we get to share the battles and blessings of church planting with the family of friends God has given us.
Oh… did I mention our new house suffered a flash flood?
